A Perfectionist’s Guide to Overcoming Perfection

As someone who used to obsess about being perfect, I’m here to tell you that great things are created once you let go of perfection. 

You see, I’ve struggled with trying to be perfect my whole life, only to realize in my 20s that perfection is a joke and if you wait for something (or yourself) to be perfect, you will be waiting forever. 

Showing up and putting your whole heart into everything you do is infinitely more valuable than trying to be flawless. 

And once you let go of perfection, you can truly become better at what you do, whether that’s connecting with people, writing papers, or honing your hobby. 

That’s what life is all about: becoming better at being who you truly are.

So, without further ado, here is a perfectionist’s guide to overcoming perfection. 

1. Learn the value of the shitty first draft. 

This technically refers to writing, but I like to apply it to everything I do. 

The first draft of everything in your life is going to have flaws – probably lots and lots of flaws. When I was learning how to play the saxophone, I was HORRIBLE. The first time I tried yoga was disastrous. But over time, I got better. 

Just like your shitty first draft. 

2. Stop comparing yourself to others.

Easier said than done, I know. I still catch myself falling into “comparison quicksand.” 

It starts with “I wish my _____ (insert thing here) was as good as theirs.” Before I know it, I’m up to my neck in self-doubt and can’t get a single thing done because I can’t stop thinking about how much better everyone else is doing.

Just like you don’t want other people to see your flaws, they don’t want you to see theirs. So stop looking at their finished products or highlight reel (aka Instagram feed) and comparing it to your shitty first draft or everyday life. 

And just because they make whatever it is look easy, doesn’t mean it was easy. That makeup look probably took a lot of time and practice and they didn’t get that job overnight. 

Give yourself a break.

3. Surround yourself (and your newsfeed) with people and things that inspire you.

In other words, don’t be afraid to cut people out of your life you feel the need to compete with or compare yourself to. 

A few years ago, I created an Instagram account where I only followed people who inspired me to be better and didn’t get me stuck in a comparison trap. I didn’t do this because my friends and family on my normal Instagram were trying to ridicule me or make me jealous. I did this because I couldn’t stop comparing my everyday life with the life they put on Instagram. 

I would get extremely jealous of their successes instead of being proud of them (like I should have been), so I made a new Instagram account where I could focus on myself and drop unnecessary comparisons.

For me, it was Instagram. For you, it could be the ladies in your spin class or your peers on LinkedIn. Whatever it is, do the equivalent of hitting that (amazing) Instagram “mute” button and spend less time comparing yourself to those people.

4. Strive for improvement, not perfection. 

Instead of being perfect, wouldn’t it make more sense to try to be better? Not better than other people, but better than you were yesterday? I certainly think so.

Try to set mini goals for yourself that can be achieved daily or weekly that focus on improvement. Maybe that means making your bed in the morning, doing yoga at least once a week, or reading a book you’ve been dying to get your hands on. These changes are not difficult to achieve, but they can make the world of a difference. 

When I make my bed in the morning and stick to my scheduled writing time each day, I feel a sense of accomplishment that overpowers my need to be perfect.

5. Don’t be afraid to fail.

Why is “fail” such negative word? Everyone does it even if they pretend they don’t. I argue that failing makes you a better person in the long run if you learn and grow from it. 

It can be discouraging – trust me, I know. But I like to view failing as permission to try again. It gives you a chance to reflect, put more work in (improvement!), and come back stronger than you were before. 

It gives you a chance to change your mind and switch paths if you need to.  

I wouldn’t be the person I am today without failure, and failure has given me the strength to do things that I never thought I would do (like starting this blog and traveling in a converted high-roof van).

Final Thoughts

Overcoming perfection will not happen overnight and it definitely isn’t a one-and-done kind of thing. I still struggle with it every single day, and I’ve been trying to let it go for years.

I hope you found a few of these tips helpful for overcoming the burden of perfectionism. And remember, the next time you are striving to be perfect, ignoring improvement, and terrified of failure, you should be terrified of perfection, striving for improvement, and growing from failure.

Are you a perfectionist struggling to overcome perfection? What are some things that help you? Let me know in the comments!